Encountering Christ

So I went to California to go to the Jesus Culture conference and yes, I encountered the Lord in a way that I never have before in my life. 

          So our last night in California we went to Bethel Church in Redding and my life has been changed for the better, ever since.   The worship started off great (didn't know a lot of the songs but I was just happy to be there), and then one song came on I just closed my eyes and just focused.  All of a sudden I was seeing ripples (like in a pond/ocean) that went on for a long time and then this eye appeared and was just floating around.  It wasn't creepy it was just normal to me for some reason.  

         Then this old dead tree came into play and there was a bunch of stuff hanging off the branches and they were in picture frames.  Then they were just flying off.  So to put it in an analogy God was "pruning my branches".  During all this I'm bawling my eyes out and I wasn't embarrassed or anything because everyone was in their own place with God.  Crying in the building of the church is so comforting too, God's moving among his people and I was feeling so broken but I knew that God was there to pick up my heart.  He just kept taking things away from me that needed to go.  It definitely felt like the things were getting ripped out of my heart, pain was getting released and it just felt amazing (for lack of a better word). Then his face was just smiling at me and the next thing I saw was myself running towards him.  Kind of felt like I was in a film.  Where the girl with blonde hair is running through the golden field towards the sun.  That was the picture I was seeing.  

            For the rest of the night I couldn't really focus on what the speaker (Mario Murillo) was talking about because I was just in a different state of mind.  It was so awesome. I did pay attention, but I just felt so connected with Christ it was the first time that I had never felt physically and emotionally alone in a very long time.  I've definitely been feeling that lately, but when I think back to that night, I'm re-assured of God's love for me, and no-one can fill that void in my heart but Him.  

            So I had spent two weeks just trying to figure out what the vision was all about and to see if I could make any sense of it, but I couldn't.  So I emailed a friend that I knew could help and both her and her husband gave me interpretations which was incredible and totally makes sense.  Here's what they said.

            "I feel like the ripples in the pond that you described are the ripples in your life.  Each circle represents growth.  I also feel the eye is the Lord looking out for you and watching for you.  As you said with the tree scenario, He does prune us and it's to case further growth. He speaks to us and gives us pictures.  Sometimes they seem odd, but other times they seem totally understandable and comprehensible.  When God shows Himself in pictures, He's trying to get our attention and show us a little bit more of who He is."

           The second interpretation is the one that has really been digging at me, because I feel like what he said was right.  

           (This first part hit me the hardest out of the whole thing because I know he's 100% correct). "The dead tree can be you if you continue on the same path.  Pruning is necessary- when you look at apple growers -every year new growth comes and they actually prune that growth each year to get a stronger tree.  God is actually pruning your new growth to get it to grow in the right direction.  Growth will continue until you find eternity.  He will continue to remove things that distract you from focusing on him regularly...even things like computers, facebook etc take our attention away from Him and we really believe that God is getting ready to do something huge to the churches...We are going to see him like we have never seen Him before.  The worst thing we can do as Christians is to live a life in "fear of man"...That is a grave sin and basically an idol.  The only person that we need to fear is God alone and everything we do should be with that in mind."  

           Everything that I've written about, I'm still thinking about and taking to heart.  This post doesn't seem finished to me, and I don't know if it ever will...but I'm continuing to see out what God is laying on my heart and trusting in Him where I will go from here on out.